Captions And Quotes For Instagram And Facebook

150+ Petty Captions And Quotes For Instagram



150 petty captions and quotes for instagram


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Embrace your sassy side and let your captions do the talking! Show off your playful pettiness with our comprehensive collection of over 150 hilarious Instagram captions and quotes.

These tongue-in-check phrases are sure to make your followers chuckle and sympathize. Put on your favorite smirk, pick a perfect petty caption and let’s paint Instagram with the brighter side of sarcasm!

Petty Captions for Instagram


1. Time to bring out the pettiness with these savage captions!
2. Need a come-back for that annoying comment? These petty captions got your back!
3. Who said being petty wasn’t fun? These Instagram captions are here to prove them wrong!
4. Embrace your inner sass and let these captions do the talking for you.
5. Tired of being nice? These petty captions will help you channel your true self.
6. Prepare to slay the social media game with these witty and hilarious Instagram captions.
7. Unleash the petty queen (or king) within with these fiery captions that’ll leave everyone speechless.
8. Sometimes being petty is just the perfect way to make your point, and these captions will help you do just that!
9. Time to upgrade your Instagram game with these cleverly petty captions – watch as the likes roll in!
10. Let your pettiness shine bright like a diamond with these caption gems for Instagram!

11. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the pettiest of them all?” – Oh wait, it’s me!
12. “I’m not always petty, but when I am, it’s a masterpiece.”
13. “Being petty is my cardio.”
14. “Warning: My petty level is off the charts!”
15. “Queen/king of petty reporting for duty!”
16. “If petty was a profession, I’d be a billionaire.”
17. “Sometimes being petty is the only option for self-defense.”
18. “If pettiness was a superpower, I’d be a Marvel character.”
19. “Smile, because you just got petty-fied.”
20. “Petty but pretty, that’s my motto!”

21. “Oh, you want a spicy comeback? Let me check my petty dictionary.”
22. “Just a friendly reminder that I’m the queen/king of petty.”
23. “Don’t interrupt my petty parade, I’m on a roll!”
24. “Being petty is like therapy, but cheaper.”
25. “If pettiness could be bottled, I’d sell it for a fortune.”
26. “I may not be tall, but my pettiness reaches new heights!”
27. “When life gives you lemons, make a petty lemonade.”
28. “Petty game strong, haters beware!”
29. “If you can’t handle my pettiness, you don’t deserve my fabulousness.”
30. “Proud member of the petty committee!”

31. “Petty minds think alike, let’s be friends!”
32. “Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of me being petty.”
33. “Stay classy, sassy, and just a little bit petty.”
34. “Being petty is my secret talent.”
35. “My pettiness is an art form, brush up!”
36. “Petty? More like fashionably outspoken!”
37. “Petty or not, nobody messes with this fierce soul.”
38. “Do you believe in love at first petty?”
39. “No one does petty like I do.”
40. “Keep calm and unleash your inner petty!”

41. “Petty vibes, high tide!”
42. “Life is short, make every moment petty-ful.”
43. “Ready to sprinkle some petty magic on your feed?”
44. “My pettiness knows no bounds.”
45. “Hot mess? Nah, just petty AF!”
46. “No drama, just petty adventures!”
47. “Flexing my pettiness muscles today.”
48. “Petty, but make it fashionable.”
49. “Politely savage, cunningly petty.”
50. “Why be normal when you can be petty-licious?
Petty Captions for Instagram

Funny Captions for Instagram


1. “Life is short, smile while you still have teeth!”
2. “I’m not lazy, I’m just in energy-saving mode.”
3. “If life gives you lemons, just add vodka!”
4. “I may be a potato, but I’m a pretty cool potato.”
5. “When nothing goes right, go left!”
6. “Warning: Objects in the selfie are funnier than they appear.”
7. “If I had to describe my sense of humor in one word, it would be ‘inappropriate.’”
8. “I’m not clumsy, I’m just performing random acts of gravity.”
9. “My bed and I are in a long-term relationship. We sleep together every night.”
10. “They told me to follow my dreams, so I went back to bed.”
11. “Insert clever Instagram caption here.”
12. “I’m not responsible for what my face does when you talk.”
13. “I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition.”
14. “My superpower is pretending to be productive while scrolling through Instagram.”
15. “Me: Can I go to bed early tonight? Me at 3 am: ”
16. “I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.”
17. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the funniest of them all?”
18. “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
19. “I don’t sweat, I sparkle.”
20. “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together.”
21. “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.”
22. “I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.”
23. “I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”
24. “I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
25. “Life is too short to wear matching socks.”
26. “I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks.”
27. “My life is a constant battle between wanting to be productive and wanting to nap.”
28. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
29. “Pizza is my Valentine. Sorry, not sorry.”
30. “Don’t worry, I’m not crazy. I’m just differently sane.”
31. “I can’t adult today, please don’t make me!”
32. “Normal is boring. Embrace your inner weirdo!”
33. “My room is a mess because chaos is my middle name.”
34. “I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”
35. “Life is too short to be serious all the time. Laugh, and the world laughs with you.”
36. “Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back.”
37. “Exercise? I thought you said ‘extra fries’!”
38. “I’m not a morning person. Please speak quietly until I’ve had my coffee.”
39. “I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen us in the same room together?”
40. “Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.”
41. “I’m not shy, I’m secretly plotting your demise.”
42. “The only thing I throwback on Thursdays are sarcastic remarks.”
43. “My life is a combination of Netflix, Food, and Questionable Decisions.”
44. “On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?”
45. “Wanted: Cuddling partner for winter hibernation.”
46. “If being sarcastic burned calories, I’d be a Victoria’s Secret model by now.”
47. “99% angel, 1% brat. Don’t make it 2%.”
48. “People say laughter is the best medicine. So, let’s overdose!”
49. “If sarcasm was an Olympic sport, I’d win the gold!”
50. “They say money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy pizza, which is pretty much the same thing.
Funny Captions for Instagram

Sassy Captions for Instagram

Get ready to add some attitude to your Instagram game with these sassy captions that are sure to turn heads and spark conversations! Whether you want to express your confident side, throw shade subtly, or simply showcase your unique personality, these captions will help you stand out from the crowd and leave your followers wanting more. From witty one-liners to cheeky comebacks, these captions are perfect for any occasion, be it a fierce selfie, a funny moment, or a glamorous night out. So go ahead, grab that coffee, strike a pose, and let your sassiness shine through!

1. “Sassy since birth, classy when required.”
2. “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, babe.”
3. “I’m too glam to give a damn.”
4. “My attitude is my crown, and I wear it with pride.”
5. “In a world full of trends, I want to remain a classic.”
6. “Sweet as sugar, but with a sting like a bee.”
7. “I’m a limited edition, not a cheap knockoff.”
8. “Queens don’t compete; they empower.”
9. “I’m a vibe you can’t find anywhere else.”
10. “Keep rolling your eyes; maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”
11. “I’m not bossy; I just know what you should be doing.”
12. “I’m sorry if you can’t handle my level of fabulousness.”
13. “Too glam to give a damn, honey.”
14. “Life is short; buy the shoes, take the trip, eat the cake.”
15. “Confidence level: selfie with no filter.”
16. “Killing them softly with my sass.”
17. “Be a Badass with a good ass.”
18. “Messy bun and getting stuff done.”
19. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me.”
20. “Life is too short to wear boring clothes.”
21. “Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.”
22. “I’m not high maintenance; you’re just low effort.”
23. “I didn’t choose the sassy life; the sassy life chose me.”
24. “Too glam to care.”
25. “I’m not a snack; I’m the whole picnic.”
26. “Girls just wanna have fun…damental rights.”
27. “Confidently lost in the world of sass.”
28. “I’m not a player; I’m the game.
29. “I’m not short; I’m concentrated awesome.”
30. “Stay classy, sassy, and a little bad-assy!”
31. “Sassy by nature, fabulous by choice.”
32. “Messy hair, don’t care. It’s the sass that matters.”
33. “I’m a mixture of sweet chaos and sassy vibes.”
34. “I’m an acquired taste. Don’t you dare try to buy it.”
35. “Know your worth, then add tax.”
36. “Hot mess with a heart of gold.”
37. “Be a voice, not an echo.”
38. “I’m a queen in my own castle.”
39. “I’m not here for a long time; I’m here for a good time.”
40. “I don’t chase dreams; I manifest them.”
41. “I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?”
42. “I’m the girl your mama warned about.”
43. “Keep shining, sassy diamonds!”
44. “I’m not interested in competing; I’m convinced of my own greatness.”
45. “Be a badass with a sassy ass.”
46. “My middle finger salutes your lack of confidence.”
47. “Flawsome, the perfect mix of flaws and awesome.”
48. “Sassy, classy, and a bit smart-assy.”
49. “I can’t stop being awesome. It’s in my DNA.”
50. “I may be sassy, but at least I’m entertaining.
Sassy Captions for Instagram

Witty Instagram Captions

– Adding a dash of humor to your social media game!

In a world where pictures speak volumes, have become the secret ingredient to make your posts stand out. These quirky one-liners and clever puns can turn an ordinary photo into an instant crowd-pleaser. Whether you’re looking to make your followers chuckle or you simply want to showcase your wit, we’ve got you covered with an extensive list of hilarious captions that will leave your followers in stitches. So get ready to level up your Insta game with our collection of uproarious lines that are bound to put a smile on anyone’s face!

1. “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.”
2. “Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’”
3. “I am not lazy, I am on energy-saving mode.”
4. “If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.”
5. “I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.”
6. “I can’t adult today, please don’t make me.”
7. “I might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m someone’s double shot of whiskey.”
8. “Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”
9. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right?”
10. “I don’t sweat—I sparkle.”
11. “I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate.”
12. “May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner be even.”
13. “I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.”
14. “Of course, I’m smart. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be wise enough to check my own Instagram captions.”
15. “The best way to predict your future is to create it. But a rich relative wouldn’t hurt either.”
16. “Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.”
17. “Can’t see the haters over my enormous self-confidence.”
18. “Currently pretending to be an adult. Please leave a message after the beep.”
19. “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my mediocre.”
20. “Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions. Chocolate understands.”

21. “I’m on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”
22. “If being sarcastic burned calories, I would be a supermodel.”
23. “I’m not a player, I just crush a lot… of candy.”
24. “I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman; I’m just saying that no one has ever seen us in the same room together.”
25. “I’m not a snob, I just have high standards.”
26. “I’m not late; I’m on my own timezone.”
27. “Behind every great selfie, there’s a lot of failed ones.”
28. “Success is in my veins. And I ain’t giving it up for nothing.”
29. “I’d like to thank Netflix for providing the background noise to my life.”
30. “I don’t always take selfies, but when I do, I look fabulous.”
31. “I’m a rare species, not a stereotype.”
32. “The only thing I throwback on Thursdays is a glass of wine.”
33. “I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.”
34. “Let’s just be who we are and do what we do. I hear it’s fabulous.”
35. “A clever person solves problems. A wise person avoids them. A genius person makes .”
36. “My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat.”
37. “Diet starts tomorrow? Nah, let’s start it next week.”
38. “I came, I saw, and I forgot to take a picture.”
39. “I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”
40. “If you can’t handle me at my double chin, you don’t deserve me at my abs.”

41. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I literally give zero forks.”
42. “I don’t always make sense, but when I do, people tend to laugh.”
43. “Do what makes your soul shine, even if it’s through a Snapchat filter.”
44. “In a world full of trends, I want to remain a classic.”
45. “Sunsets are proof that no matter what happens, every day can end beautifully.”
46. “I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not you.”
47. “I like hashtags because they look like waffles.”
48. “If you were looking for a sign, here it is. Now go take that selfie!”
49. “Friendship is finding that one person who will take cute candid pictures of you.”
50. “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the sassiest of them all? Oh wait, it’s me!
Witty Instagram Captions

Quotes for Instagram

Welcome to the ultimate collection of ! Whether you’re looking for a dose of inspiration, a funny one-liner, or just a caption to perfectly complement your stunning picture, we have you covered. Our assortment of quotes will help you express yourself with wit, charm, and a touch of quirkiness. Sit back, relax, and enjoy a delightful journey through the world of Instagram captions!

1. Life is short, make every hair flip count.
2. “Too glam to give a damn.” – Unknown
3. Happiness is a hot cup of coffee and a good book.
4. “Sarcasm: because beating the crap out of people is illegal.” – Unknown
5. Just a girl who decided to go for it.
6. “I just rescued some wine. It was trapped in a bottle.” – Unknown
7. Surround yourself with pizza, not negativity.
8. “Reality called, so I hung up.” – Unknown
9. Keep calm and let your caption do the talking.
10. “I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Unknown
11. Embrace the glorious mess that you are.
12. “I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.” – Unknown
13. Life is short, buy the shoes.
14. “I’m sorry, what language are you speaking? It sounds like bullshit.” – Unknown
15. Find me under the palms.
16. “I told you, I’m a professional selfie taker.” – Unknown
17. Life happens, coffee helps.
18. “I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
19. Just another day in paradise.
20. “If you can’t be the sunshine, be a glow stick.” – Unknown
21. Slay the day!
22. “Coffee: because adulting is hard.” – Unknown
23. Lust for wanderlust.
24. “I don’t make mistakes, I date them.” – Unknown
25. We rise by lifting others.
26. “Little by little, one travels far.” – J.R.R. Tolkien
27. Sunsets > Netflix.
28. “I can’t adult today, so I’m going back to bed.” – Unknown
29. Life’s a journey, not a destination.
30. “I’m like a snack. Can’t have just one.” – Unknown
31. Stay wild, moonchild.
32. “I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.” – Unknown
33. Good vibes, good life.
34. “I’m sorry, did my back hurt your knife?” – Unknown
35. Adventure awaits.
36. “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a cupcake.” – Unknown
37. Be a flamingo in a flock of pigeons.
38. “I don’t sweat, I sparkle.” – Unknown
39. Keep dreaming, keep achieving.
40. “I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.” – Unknown
41. Happiness looks gorgeous on you.
42. “Give me the wine and nobody gets hurt.” – Unknown
43. Stay classy, sassy, and a bit bad-assy.
44. “I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.” – Unknown
45. Live, laugh, love… and eat cake!
46. “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a cupcake.” – Unknown
47. Smile, it’s free therapy.
48. “I don’t sweat, I sparkle.” – Unknown
49. Good vibes only, please.
50. “Give me the wine and nobody gets hurt.” – Unknown
Quotes for Instagram

In wrapping up, never underestimate the power of a good caption, especially when it comes to expressing your inner pettiness. It’s certainly the cherry on top of your fabulous Instagram post!

Remember – humor is your secret weapon. Use these 150+ petty captions and quotes to add a sprinkle of sass and a dash of fun to your Instagram game. Go ahead, let your sass flag fly high and paint the Instagram town red!

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